Sometimes I feel as though I am at a complete standstill. Things need to be done, but I find myself so emotionally exhausted day after day from chronic depression and anxiety. It’s a battle I fight every.single.day- every second I’m breathing. Battles will make you feel drained and exhausted. Imagine having to battle with your own mind on a daily basis. It’s not fun, to say the least. In fact, it’s debilitating. But I continue to fight.
The thing I’ve noticed about mental illness, is that people tend to “forget” really that the person suffering is going through anything. “Okay, so you had a bad week last week but you seem fine this week!” On the outside, I’ve been seeming pretty good. I get up everyday, shower, get dressed, put on makeup, walk my dog, read my bible and journal, take care of chores, ect. I’ve been making it to all of my appointments(on time imagine that lol) and eating right. These are HUGE accomplishments for me. On the inside, all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. But why? Things in my life are not all that bad, but I’m STRUGGLING.
I just want to hug anyone else who feels the same way. Say to them “you’re not alone, we are in this together.” And I want to say “things will get better,” which they will, but on my bad days I’d like to kick someone who says that to me. If things “get better” why am I still struggling day in and day out? Things do get better, however, that doesn’t mean the battle is over.
Keep fighting. Dark days do not last forever, the sun will shine again. It’s just that I can’t promise when. I wish I could.