I have been working on my priorities.
My list of priorities goes as follows:
4. &Friends that are family
My old list went like:
1.Sleep or my addiction
When I am at my worst, it’s all I can do to simply survive. At my best, I am a happy energetic, (but not manic), friendly person who genuinely enjoys the other souls around me. I strongly believe that God has strategically placed people in my life to be there for me in my times of need. I feel as though my friends are angels sent to love me, nurture me, and protect me fiercely. I am extremely blessed with a group of best friends that I have had since elementary school. Don’t get me wrong, the length of the friendship is not what makes the relationship a good relationship. I have also met a few people over the course of my life that I met later on that I would consider my very good friends as well. It’s just that I’m not always quite as trusting with new people. People have to earn my trust unfortunately, that’s something I am working on-to be more trusting.
I have recently made it a priority to reconnect with certain relationships that I had let slip through the cracks. I pride myself in the fact that I can be friends with a wide variety of people withAn different characteristics. To put it simply, I’m blessed with a lot of good friends. But there were a few relationships I let slip when I was not in a good state of mind. Like I said, at my worst, it’s a struggle to survive. This makes it very difficult to upkeep special relationships in my life. If I don’t have the capacity to care for my own self, how can I nurture another relationship with another person? I am extremely hard on myself when it comes to this, I beat myself up for letting relationships slip, but I shouldn’t be. I’m human. Life is hard and gets in the way sometimes. I am finding that there is really only enough room in my life for those that are truly important.
Hiding mental illness is easy. Almost no one outside of my immediate family knew about my mental well-being. That it was being jeopardized by my own self. So how do my friends feel when I am emotionally checked out? Do they think I am unaccountable? A flake? Unreliable? At times I am sure some of my friends have felt this way about me. And I really don’t blame them. Mental illness steals your happiness and quite honestly, your accountability. If someone you care about has been flaky, cancels plans last minute, or has seemed emotionally checked-out, try not to judge. Instead, offer to sit and do nothing with the person. Sometimes when I am struggling, just having someone in the same room as me feels good. I’ve spent most of my life not trusting myself, not holding myself accountable for things that are essential to live a happy healthy life. But I am starting to really change my priorities, and focus on what is really important. How do I go about recovering fallen relationships? I reach out. A simple txt, phone call, or social media message. I let the person know I miss them and would like to see them. The rest kinda works itself out for the most part. A common theme here is action. Action must be taken to live a healthier life. Action must be taken if you miss somebody. Reach out to the person you miss. Life can and will take its toll on the relationships in your life. This doesn’t mean it has to come to an end. Everything becomes easier when you have companions in life. People to share with, people to relate to. Both your life and happiness depend on ACTION. Be a warrior, don’t sit on the sidelines of your life. Reach out.