Relapse.

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Is a part of recovery.

The biggest mistake I’ve made is letting myself think that one good day means all the days following will be good also. I set myself up for disaster and heartbreak every time I let myself believe this lie.

There will be hard days. There will be sad days. This doesn’t mean you’ll never have a good day again, it just means this is life. There are always ups and downs. You can’t have the sun and flowers without a little rain.

But I’m human and I’m scared of the dark days. I am straight terrified of feeling those emotions ever again. So I find myself running from those emotions instead of dealing with them in a healthy manner. My worst habit is running and hiding from all my problems. It’s time to face them. It’s time to practice what I preach, or at least try my best to. So, here I am, typing away, trying to face my demons rather than sit in the dark place.

Relapse is a harsh word. Relapse doesn’t take away all that progress you’ve made.  Relapse is a part of recovery and recovery is a life long thing. I will be in recovery for the rest of my life. And that’s okay with me. I’d rather be “recovering” then stuck in the dark. I didn’t come this far, to only come this far.

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